Broche Banter #36 -- Alyssa
Today, I chat with Alyssa about her experiences finding her way back to ballet as an adult.
She shares her love of dance and her winding journey to find a ballet studio to call home. She hopes that by sharing some of her struggles with different levels, teachers, and studio situations will help you feel less alone with challenges you might face, and help you keep pushing to find the right environment for you to blossom into the dancer of your dreams.
Follow her story on Instagram @backtotheballetbarre!
Enjoy!
Julie: Welcome to the show. It's so great to be able to chat with you today.
Alyssa: It's so great to be here. I'm so glad to be on the show because I've enjoyed listening to it so much.
Julie: Awesome. Let's get started with a quick overview of your journey with ballet. Where are you at? Where did you start, give me a little bit of an overview of where you're at.
Alyssa: So I am from New Hampshire. So I believe that's a good context to start with. So nothing there is all that large, because as a state, we're not very big. And so I got my start in ballet at three years old, my older sister did ballet, and she's seven years older. So she was very into the process already. And she started at five. And so I started in a studio that was in a converted garage. And so just one singular room with benches on one wall, where parents could watch with just barres on two walls, wood floors, nothing crazy. And that was my ballet home for the entirety of my time doing ballet as a child, all the way through age 11.
And so we weren't your best studio out there or anything like that. We didn't do competitions. Just your classic hometown, very basic studio, but with good hearts. And our ballet teacher always just wanted us to love ballet, and love ourselves. And she was never trying to push us to be something that we weren't. And so I was never the best in the class by far. But I always had fun. And that's what my mom wanted.
I did that all the way up until age 11, when I moved to a different city. And the studio also got passed down to a student of my teacher’s, who also taught there, because my teacher got cancer, and so she could no longer teach. She had to go through chemo and everything. So it moved farther away and it was an in-commutable distance to be able to go to anymore. And so I had a big break from ballet for about 10 years.
And then I came back in college as an escape from school because it was just an unhealthy situation that I was in at my college. It was a little too small, and everyone knew a little too much, and they asked a little too much. Also being on staff with the school. So I came back because I was like, I'm always at school, I'm always working at the school, I need another outlet. I need other people in my life. Because the same ones I'm around, it's not working.
And so I had just googled local dance studios in the area, and there wasn't very many because I was in Virginia, in another smaller area. And so I found one and I was like, Well, I'm going to go to ballet. Let's start there, because that's probably the one I know the best. And so I went, and it was terrible. And I did terrible. And I was like, wow, I’d forgotten a lot.
And luckily, it was a guest teacher that day who was filling in. And so it turned out not to be my actual teacher, which I was incredibly grateful for, because I was like it was a train wreck, but it was fine.
And I found an amazing community of adults of all ages doing ballet, and people in all professions. And I had people in the class who I could aspire to be that good. And then I people who are just at my level too. And so it was a good mix of people. And everyone was so encouraging. And I was like, “wow, I really love being here because it's like the rest of the world doesn't exist. And everyone here is not trying to be better than each other. They're just trying to be our best and enjoy what we're doing at the present moment.”
“I found an amazing community of adults of all ages doing ballet, and people in all professions.
I thought, ‘Wow, I really love being here because it’s like the rest of the world doesn’t exist. And everyone here is not trying to be better than each other. They’re just trying to be our best and enjoy what we’re doing at the present moment.”
And so I began adding more and more classes to my schedule, taking two ballet classes a week, a modern class, a contemporary class and a tap class. And so I got a little addicted. I got the ballet bug, as we call it, or the dance bug. And so I was at that studio from… I started in September there and I moved back home at the end of November, because the situation wasn't great, and I could finish my schooling online, and so I moved back. Again went on Google and Googled adult ballet classes in that area and found my studio home there. And it was not nearly as many adults as I was used to. And definitely not as vibrant as the program but still a tight knit group of 20 something women who love to do ballet. Our classes are actually mixed teen adult age and enjoy doing that and would supplement with other classes and other cities around the area that were between 30 minutes and an hour drive away to get in more classes. I actually just returned back to my original studio this week as I made the journey back down here to take a job almost two weeks ago.
Julie: Wow. So full circle!
Alyssa: Yes. Full Circle. Literally.
Julie: You had reached out to me about a how to make a home floor. So how do you know how to do that? What's what's your profession? What's your background outside of ballet.
Alyssa: So I have three, almost four degrees. I just love school. And so I have a culinary arts degree, a Biblical Studies degree, an organizational management degree, and almost at a Pastry Arts degree. And so I was actually working at my church back home doing admin-everything, as that happens, and I just moved down here to take a position originally as a coffee shop consultant for a project here. But then I got asked to become the manager of the project. It's not open yet. But that's what I will be doing. We're starting a coffee shop called brew-to-bean. And it is a New Orleans-style coffee shop. But and the New River Valley of Virginia.
Julie: Wow, that's exciting.
Alyssa: Yes, it will definitely be a learning process. But I'm excited. So basically more of a food background. But the home floor just came about because of COVID, and wanting something in my room also, to be able to dance at home, because you can't always make it to the number of classes that you always want to attend. Or you don't always have the space in other parts of your home to be able to do it. And so I had a pretty large bedroom. And I was like, Well, I have all this extra space that I'm not using. I might as well build a ballet floor. So it started out with just four panels. So it was four foot by four foot. But I found because I'm so tall, I'm almost 5’10” that I couldn't do a full like rond de jambe around because it just wasn't quite enough space. And so at the beginning of quarantine, I bought all the supplies to make it six foot by six foot so that I could actually do like full turns and such on the floor without landing on the carpet, because that's not always fun. And got a piece of Marley for it. So.
Julie: Exciting, upgrading!
Alyssa: Yes, definitely.
On Open Adult Ballet Programs, Levels & Teachers
Julie: You've had a very varied background in terms of going to different studios and working with different dance teachers. You've also had the experience as both a kid and as an adult. So talk to me about the experience that you've had with, with your ballet teachers, what do you want to learn? What are they giving you? What are they not giving you that you wish that they were giving you… tell me about that experience?
Alyssa: Yeah, I think the hardest thing I've been met with as an adult is when you're a child, there's either age-level of classes or skill-level classes, but as an adult, you kind of just get this mixed bag of you have to show up to know what you're going to get at a studio because what they tell you is not always what they're giving you.
And so they can say it's intermediate ballet, but it's really more like beginner-intermediate ballet, or they can be telling you it's just like open ballet, but it turns out to be this incredibly hard class or all these girls who are basically in their pre-professional program are taking the class and you're like, hmm, I don't think so.
I went to one studio, like 30 minutes from my house back in New Hampshire. And I went I took their adult ballet class, followed by their adult pointe class. And I was like, Oh, this pointe class will be great. It'll be probably a little more simpler, a little less fast paced, because it's an adult class. I'm super excited because sometimes when you take point classes with kids, it's just so fast. You're like, my body does not move that fast anymore. Or I need a little more time to get the courage to do that I'm not 13. And it was the complete opposite it was we were doing a warm up at the barre for 10 minutes and the rest of the classes and center.
And I was like, I haven't taken a pointe class since March because we've been in quarantine so no. Don't feel like that's safe. Of course, I had done stuff at home, but nothing like really huge across the floor or anything like that. So I was kind of like, no. But as for teachers, I've had some really great ones who I felt like, really want to take the time to give corrections because I think some teachers don't want to give corrections to adults, because they don't know whether or not they want to receive them.
But my biggest thing I think I found is that teachers don't communicate very well with adult students sometimes, because there's not a mutual expectation, because they don't start that conversation first. And sometimes the student doesn't always want to start it because they don't know how the teacher feels about why they're at ballet, because some people are just taking it for fun. But some people actually want to get better. And I think I put myself in the category of I do want to get better. And I do have goals that I want to reach. But if you don't give me corrections, I can never improve upon what I'm doing wrong. Because you're probably seeing things that I can't see it because you may have an eye for it, or I'm just not catching it, because I'm thinking about some other things at the same time.
I’ve found that like definitely doing private lessons with a teacher was super fundamental in the beginning. Because coming back as an adult in not really beginner classes, you're just kind of thrown off the deep end, and you're learning stuff you never learned as a child because I stopped at 11. So there were steps that I never did. And so I just be like, Okay, well, I guess I'm going to go for it, because what other option is there. And so working on those things that you may not have gained as a child or just weren't properly taught to you in class, because there's not always enough time to really go over something well, so you can truly understand it, if you've never done it before, I think is super important.
And I think my biggest thing has been the studio owners, I think is where I've hit the biggest issues because they're not always dance teachers themselves. And they don't always know how to properly communicate with the adults versus the children's parents. And so they can kind of communicate in avenues that aren't always the best suited ways. Or they'll send an email that's in general to everyone, but the information for the adults is very different. And so sometimes you don't get the correct information because they don't have as much experience communicating with those types of people in the way that works best.
And I had one studio owner, who was just very discouraging. And some of the things she told me, she wasn't asking me what my goals were, and why I was taking a class, she just saw that I wasn't at the level of everyone else. And was like, Oh, I hope you don't expect be in the show in that class. And I was thinking in my head. I wasn't even wanting to I was here because I wanted an extra ballet class and you only offer one adult one. So I was taking one with the girls that would be most comparable to my level. Because the other girls are like 10,11 and 12 and that's a little too young. And for you to come up and say that, that just makes people not want to come back or not want to dance because you're basically telling them they are terrible. But that's not what my expectation was because you didn't ask me.
And so that's been hard and another teacher communicated to me something over messenger when she should have had an in-person conversation with me. And so my biggest thing is teachers please communicate with your students in an avenue in which you communicate to parents of children and you would not do most those things over messenger over not over at least a phone call or an in person conversation so don't do that to adults.
Julie: Yeah. It's um it's so interesting to sit and listen to what you're talking about because I've experienced all of these things as a student and it's why I made what I made. Why I made the studio because I made it only adults because the expectations are different and I feel like it's the most important for a studio and for each class to have a very clear expectation set that's like this class is for fun, and this class will be serious technique. And this class will be covering detailed stuff with lots of corrections in this class won't. And if you don't want the corrections don't go to the one labeled that, because there's so much of a difference in expectations with adults.
With kids, you know, I mean, generally everyone goes there with the same expectation, right. And if they don't have that expectation, they quit or they drop out. But with the adults, the expectation, as you said is so across the board, some people just love to move with the music, some people just love to feel ballet, some people were ex-professionals, and to have a correction given to them would just bring back so much trauma. Some people are like you and like me, who want to learn everything and soak up every drop of every little bit of information. And then you get all of those people in an open level class with a pre-professional student stuck in there. And as a teacher, you're totally stuck between a rock and a hard place with no have no idea how to make any of these people happy and you leave making all of them unhappy, and you leave making none of them happy.
And it's just an incredibly stressful situation for everyone. And it is it's I don't have solutions other than don't set your classes up like that. Don't set your studio up like that. That's not because yeah, how can you ever in any context, please 25 people with different expectations, all of which are different from what your expectations are, and all of which are different from what was the class was labeled? No one is set up for success in that situation.
Alyssa: Yeah, like I've had people show up to their first ever ballet class, to our classes that were all the people who are definite intermediate, we were not beginners, we are not inherently advanced. We were definitely intermediate. And it was definitely an intermediate class, but not labeled, that it was just an open class. And so the teachers throwing stuff at us that we would normally do, the other person, like, doesn't know how to do a tombé. And so you're telling them to go across the floor, go tombé pas de bourrée glissade pas de chat, and they don't even know how to tombé, and you're not going over that. And so as a student, knowing how that feels, I would go to that person and show them what they could do across the floor instead, because there was no alternative given and I'm like, the person is going to hurt themselves (a), and that's not safe, and (b) you need to give them something else, because that's not going to make them feel successful.
Julie: Yeah, it's so tough. It's so it's so incredibly tough. And it's it's very interesting to bet on the other side of it when you have that situation with the intermediate people in class and the one beginner who comes in, and in the situation, sometimes the teacher will break it down for the beginner, and then you get complaints from the intermediate people that they took too much time breaking it down for the beginner. But in the other case, you get the beginner who you don't break it down for them, they leave completely overwhelmed and think they can never dance and think that their dreams are crushed. And it's just like, what do you do about that? What do you do about that? You I think it's all about setting proper expectations up front and saying like, if this is your first class, absolutely do not come to this class, you are not, do not come to this class until you take this class for beginners or until you take this thing and being really, really clear about that. So you don't put people in this situation because there's no way a teacher can succeed in that situation.
Alyssa: Yeah, definitely. Like an even I had my teacher I took privates with recommend this one teacher. So when I took one of his classes that was on a Saturday morning, but it turns out, it was like two pre-professional students and me in the. And so, needless to say not successful, and but he was so gracious about it, he would try and break down what needed to be broken down. If I couldn't do it, he was like, Oh, just do this step and said that was comparable. And I was like, okay, that's totally fine. At the end of the class, he's like, you're more than welcome to come back, if you'd like to come back. He's like, but I also teach this other class that you may be more successful, or maybe more your level. He never discouraged me from coming back. But he was like, this might be a better option.
And so there is a healthy way to approach those situations. It's just oftentimes, someone either doesn't want to start the conversation, or they just don't know how to respond back. And it's like, but then you're gonna, you're gonna leave so many people in this world to want to be a part about this ballet community thinking that they can't be a part of it. And it's like, so yeah, it's
Julie: So sad
Alyssa: Yeah, it’s so sad because unless they're super resilient and can get get over those things that are said to them. They're just gonna think ballet is the worst thing on the planet, right? When truly deep down, that's what they want to be doing.
Julie: I think simple language makes people feel like they can't do it as well, where if the teacher says, Let's do a simple combination, and then says tombé pas de bourrée glissade pas de chat. That's a simple combination if you've been doing ballet for a year, but it's not a simple combination if it's your first day, so labeling stuff as simple can discourage a beginner because they think it should be an easy combination. And when they can't get it, they're like, well, shoot, I can't get this simple thing. There's no way I can get any of this. So I think that that sort of language can help where it’s like “this can be a little tricky if you haven't done this before, but do your best with it.” That kind of language could help a beginner think that's hard. That's why I can't do it. Not I can't do it because I can never do ballet. That’s an important lesson to instill in people that the reason you can't do it is because ballet is hard not because you can't do ballet. That's a very important distinction.
Alyssa: I couldn't agree more. I definitely agree that that's highly important just the way you word things or the way you approach things, because the way you approach the class, like, I was so excited on Valentine's Day, this year, I down to Boston Ballet. And while I was heading down there to get new pointe shoes from the Capezio store, because there's not a whole lot of dance stores in the state. And so I would have to travel sometimes, because I have very large feet, and therefore a lot of stores don't even stock my size a lot. And so when you only have a couple of options, and none of them are going to work for my feet, that's not really going to work. And so I was like, Oh, let me go to a store that has a bigger selection. So I did that. And then I was like, Oh, I'm gonna go take a class at Boston Ballet, because I don't have a boyfriend or anything. So I was like, you know, I'm just gonna make it “Let's do what Alyssa likes,” day. So I went and I took the class and the shoe was amazing, and everything like that. But the teacher was terrible. He just like sat there on a chair for most of the class. I was like, I pay a lot of money for this class. And the live pianist is amazing. I'd never been with a live pianist in class
Julie: So lovely.
Alyssa: And you could just do combination for days, because the studio is so big, but I was like, I didn't love the class, because the teacher wasn't engaged. It's like you have to be engaged. You're here because other people want to be here. And you're a teacher, because you want to teach people, not so you can sit on your phone.
Julie: I try to always take the perspective that any dancer who came to class chose me over Netflix. And that is a huge deal. And we should take it seriously because you have many choices how to spend your evening and how to spend your life. And if you pick ballet, that's actually a huge deal. That's actually a huge deal. And it's important to take that seriously and give people what they're looking for.
I can totally see how you could get jaded and think that people don't want to be there, or they don't want to improve, or they don't want to take your corrections or they don't want to do it. And sometimes you get adults who don't want corrections, and they will react negatively to you giving them corrections. I can see how over time, you would feel that.
But I think what you said in the very beginning is really important, which is that it's important for you to start the conversation and to show your interest in the class and in the teacher and especially if you have a long-standing relationship to put that out there and be like, Hey, I actually really enjoy when you remind me 1000 times to keep my shoulders down, I actually really enjoy when you nag on my sickle constantly, I actually really appreciate that… because the teacher doesn't always know that you appreciate it, right? Because when you're in class, you're always very serious. Your face is always very serious. It's a quiet environment, it doesn't always give the feedback to them to let them know that you actually really enjoy the nagging. Right? Because the kids don't enjoy the nagging. The kids don't they hate it right. But the adults, we love it, we want it we eat it up. We want all of it. So I think what you said is actually critical, which is put it out there that you like it, put it out there to the people who you have relationships with that you want more of that and that you crave it, and they'll give it to you. They love it. Generally, if you have a good teacher, they love it. They love that someone wants to hear what they have to say.
Alyssa: Absolutely. And some teachers are just not going to be your cup of tea. And so some of your doubts, dancers were like, I'm not really loving this class, then don't take it go find one that's gonna make you a lot happier. Because sometimes, you and the teacher style are just so very different or say you take classes at two different studios. One can be Russian style, and one can be American style. And so you can get so confused and mixed up because one teachers wanting it one way and one teachers wanting it together when you're like which one is right. And it’s like actually they're both right. It's just different styles.
Julie: Totally. Yeah, I think that's that's also important to you. I think it's always important when you get to different bits of information, because as you said with as with the tools, we go to a lot of different studios, we go to a lot of we piece our training together from a lot of different people and a lot of different sources. I always think it's important to try to figure out, how are they both right? Not which one is wrong, but how can they both be right? What would be the circumstance in which they're both correct about this, assuming that they're qualified teachers and other teaching ballet, I think it's safe to assume that they're both correct. And try to understand why what one person says works for them and why what the other person says works for them. I think that's like an interesting thought experiment.
Alyssa: Yeah. And it's definitely a nice thing as an adult to go back to your adult ballet community online. And just realize that like, we all have bad days, and we all have moments, and we all have experiences that are funny, and all these things happening and that we can all enjoy it together. And we can all encourage each other. And I'm so glad that in the age of technology, we have that community because a lot of us live in places where there's not very many other adult dancers. And so being able to have this global community is so encouraging because I can be friends with people in England and I can be friends people across the US and other countries and we can all still love the same thing and we don't have to annoy your friends who don't do ballet with everything ballet all the time.
“It’s definitely a nice thing as an adult to go back to your adult ballet community online. And just realize that we all have bad days, and we all have moments, and we all have experiences that are funny, and all these things happening and that we can all enjoy it together. And we can all encourage each other. And I’m so glad that in the age of technology, we have that community because a lot of us live in places where there’s not very many other adult dancers.”
Julie: Look, I pointed my foot more! They're like I literally couldn't care at all. But your ballet friends love it!
Alyssa: Yeah, I'll get back from class and be like, oh, the teacher did this to my sister and she just like glaze over and. And so it's like it's fun to be able to talk about those things in a space for other people want to hear it?
Julie: Yes. One one last point I want to make on your on your statements about what it's like to be an adult dancer in these different classes is what you said, which is like, it's really important to take your experiences in these classes and not put it on yourself that you couldn't be successful in that environment because of something about you or about your inability to do something like there's so much about the environment, there's so much about the teacher, there's so much about behind the scenes, the way the studio was run, the way the classes are set up who came that day, whatever happened with the teacher…. not taking that one experience or whatever happened as as a negative experience like that is I think that's really important what you said, being really resilient about it. And if you have that bad experience, chalk it up to that day, and then try again, somewhere else with a different environment. Don't take that one experience and be like, well, shoot, gosh, I guess I can't do ballet after all. Like, don't ever let that thought come into your head with one of these things you're talking about?
Alyssa: Yeah, cuz just because you have one bad slice of pizza. Oh, pizza is not bad. But a lot of people can be like that. They can be like, Oh, this one ballet class was terrible. That means all of ballet is terrible. I'm like, that's just like a logical fallacy. You have to think about it and be like, hey, not all places are going to be your cup of tea. One place is going to fail you at some point, you have to understand that we're all human. And we all are trying to find things that we love and find people who we like doing them with and the first try’s not always best try.
Julie: If you approach it like literally anything else, finding a restaurant that you like finding food you like finding exercise you like finding a life partner, finding anything, if you approach all of it the same way, it's really true, if you go to a bad restaurant, not all restaurants are bad, and it doesn't mean you shouldn't eat anymore. It just means that it wasn't a great restaurant or maybe a bad day at that restaurant. Or maybe you were in a bad mood or I don't know something anything could have been happening. Because it is a very …. ballet and I mean, everything in life is a mixed bag. So if you get one weird thing I mean, it's mixed. So get another thing.
Alyssa: Yeah, for it's like just because we get one bad pair of pointe shoes, aka my first pair, it does not mean all pointe shoes are bad.
Julie: Oh, man, that's another that's another good one. I always say to people ask me, How much did it hurt? And I'm like, if it makes you cry, or makes you want to quit ballet, then it hurts too much. Plain and simple. If you ever think to myself, gosh, I can't do pointe, then it's the wrong shoes. That's a simple rule.
Alyssa: Yeah, yeah. The best pair of pointe shoes makes all the difference. Because once you have a terrible pair, like every pair, that's good, you're like, Oh my gosh, they're not like these other ones.
Julie: You have the gratitude. Man, that's too funny.
Next Goals
Julie: What do you what are your next big goals that you're working towards? Or is is the process your goal?
Alyssa: I think the process is always a goal, because I think there's things we can get out of it every single time. And sometimes it's just showing up that important that day. Because sometimes you have a long and really crappy day and so just getting on your ballet clothes and showing up to class and just starting is all that matters.
But I think as for specific goals, I think it's to get more comfortable dancing in front of other people because I internally freak out doing certain things when I'm just the one being watched. I hate going across the floor alone. I hate doing anything alone because it freaks me out because I don't feel like I'm all that good at ballet and so I don't like all eyes to be on me.
And to get over my fear of falling especially in pointe shoes will turning it scares the heck out of me, which only makes the turning worse and only makes the possibility of falling greater. And so it's just getting over the mental game for a lot of things not inherently the physical game because I know I can do it. It's just I'll freak myself out. And then it won't work out. Once you fall for the first time in pointe shoes you realize like, yes, I do still have the opportunity of like, hurting myself or falling but it's not as bad as I think it's going to be and the likelihood is not all that much as long as I'm doing it correctly.
Julie: I was joking with someone the other day that….. you know how I have two greyhounds and one of them has they both have great anxieties about different things but one of them is was afraid the elevator he couldn't give me elevator for the first weeks we had him and we would feed him snacks in the elevator to try to get him to associate elevator with snacks. I'm wondering…. you know it works, it works, he ended up fine with the elevator. He loves the elevator, he loves snacks. So I'm wondering, can we do that with pirouettes? Can we just eat snacks or have chocolate while we were up there in our pointe shoes? Can we have chocolate while we're going across the floor alone, and then just associate. I'm just wondering, just throwing it out there for anyone to try.
Alyssa: And might be a good idea cuz I mean, your watch. And just like when you were talking about the other day about your pirouettes, so I was like, you know, I'm totally there with you, because I don't know about you, but I like to stick my booty out while I’m turning. And that just, that's just not a good way to do a pure wet because I freaked myself out and I want to stop. I stick my booty out and I'll stop. And it's a really bad habit.
Julie: As adults, we have a different level of physical anxiety than kids, right? If we get hurt, we don't just sit on the couch and eat chicken soup from our mom for a week, right? We have like a problem, right? So we have a little bit more anxiety around that sort of a thing, around the physical sensations that come with it, around all of that. So getting over that, as you said it, you said something like you snuck it in there, you said in pointe class, it takes us time to get the courage to try something. It takes us an extra count to decide we're ready to rélevé or to decide we're ready to piqué or to decide that we're ready to take this physical risk. It's not as easy as just like whipping around or like playing in between shoes. But yeah, maybe chocolate is the answer whatever snacks you like, just go because I found when I started teaching, and I was talking to my students while I was pirouetting. So I was talking to them explaining things while in pure wedding. It took all of the panic away because I was so present and it was just like a normal, everyday activity. I'm just talking and I happen to be pirouetting. So maybe snacks is the answer.
Alyssa: Snacks and laughing laughing usually helps! If you can get everyone like laughing and like, just do something funny before you have to do turns. It just makes everything a lot easier. Because you're not thinking about the turns at that point. Yeah, because you know how to do them. You've just you're thinking about the funny thing that just happened. Or take a class of children, especially a pointe class, because trust me (a) they will freak you out because you will do stupid stuff in pointe shoes. And (b) they're fearless. And you'll be like, Oh, I can do it. They're doing it. I can do it.
Julie: It's insane. I've taught both kid that kid on pointe very little but mostly adult boy and you get a kid in pointe shoes and they're just like, the first day they're like, Can I try pirouettes? I'm like, No, no, do not try pirouettes. Do not try pirouettes. What's wrong with you, but I try not to instill that fear. Because I know later when you have that fear, it's impossible to beat it out of them. So I'm like, oh, yikes. And then you give an adult a pair of pointe shoes and you're like, go up there and they're like, but how? Like, just go up there and they're like, but how specifically and tell me exactly how I will get down and then I will go up there. I'm like just go up in the shoes! See how it feels.
Alyssa: For me death grip to the bar, like a death grip.
Julie: White knuckles.
Alyssa: Yeah, when my when my private teacher was like, Oh, yeah, we're gonna do this across the floor and your pointe shoes, because I thought it was a great idea to do an entire hour long private lesson in pointe shoes. She's like, oh, okay, now we're gonna go across the floor. I'm taking away the barre. You're taking away my barre?! Yeah. I was like, no. And she goes, yeah. And she's like, you're gonna do this across the course. I’m like Nooo, and she’s like yeaaahhh.
Julie: Yeah. It's good. You got to be pushed. We all we have to be pushed a little every once in a while we have you got to get out of your comfort zone. It's not easy. It's not easy, but it's very good for you.
Alyssa: Yes, yes. You have to get a teacher who knows you so well, where she'll go. When you when you say no, they'll go Yes. Or no about two pirouettes? Not one.
Julie: I know you were thinking single, but double please.
Alyssa: Yeah, so you know, you have a good teacher when they can do that.
Julie: Totally, totally. That relationship is key, that relationship is totally key. And it's like actually a magical relation kind of a life changing relationship. When you have a relationship with someone who is helping you through these things. It's actually it's actually rather it can be rather life changing if it's the right fit and the right relationship.
Alyssa: Yeah, in the right people in our class to who like will clap for people when they do something super well across the floor because they like did something that they didn't think they could do. And so it's super fun during that moment, where like someone's encouraging you or you're getting to encourage someone else because they just did something they've never done before.
Julie: Yeah, it's actually super magical.
Alyssa: Yep. Gotta love your fellow adult ballet students. They make the world of difference in class.
Julie: Yes. And they make the world a better place. I think all of us who have the passion on the side, I think that every dancer who I meet, either in the studio, in the online or on the podcast, everyone has such an interesting story, because I feel like anyone who's taking this much time and effort to do something this hard for fun, is actually just a really interesting person.
Alyssa: Yeah, yeah. It's definitely also where you find all your type A people. It's just like, go to an adult ballet class. The really bad ones. Yeah, we're all they're all there.
Julie: That's why that's why the way that the teachers approach the adult students is so important because you have to know that it is a group full of people who think that they're horrible at everything who think that they're not good enough who think that they can never be dancers who have incredible self doubt, from a lifetime of perfectionism. And you have to help them through that and help them be able to make mistakes and help them be able to find courage and help them come out of their shell. Because basically, everyone is intense, intense people. It's a room full of intense people.
Alyssa: Yep, and I always say, it's not just like a physical class, it's totally a mental game. And it's kind of like you're also getting therapy at the same time for your perfectionistic tendencies, and your control issues and your other issues. They're all, they all come out during ballet.
Julie: It's like you get perfectionism therapy through a pursuit of perfectionism. It's rather ironic and rather maddening, and also rather magical all at the same time.
Alyssa: Oh, look, it's I just worked on this today mentally in ballet class, and it was rough, but I got through it.
Julie: Totally. It's a huge, it's a huge mind game. It's a huge mind game. And that mind game never stops every day you wake up, and you have a different mind to work with, and a different set of thoughts and a different set of feelings and whatever. So it's always it's always a different game.
Alyssa: Yeah, always.
Advice for our dancers
Julie: If you had any last words, for our audience, maybe someone who is in a boat, kind of intermediate level wants to kind of get to the next level, because I think that's where you're where you're really digging in as well, what would be your advice for them?
Alyssa: Um, definitely seek out new classes, if you don't find the ones that you're in are presently all that challenging, because sometimes there may be an opportunity at your studio, or your studio might have a recommendation for a class, that might be a little bit more challenging. Because if we keep doing the same old thing over and over and over again, it's really hard to improve. We'll definitely improve our strengthening, but we won't always improve, doing those things that are harder skills that maybe we have yet to be taught. And so always reaching out for that. And then always reach out, if you really find you have a relationship with the teacher that you really do enjoy. And you do have the ability to pay for private lessons. Sometimes it's nice to be able to work on those in a safer space without all those other people present. And it may be an opportunity, especially if your studio doesn't have those harder classes to still learn some of those skills you desire, and maybe test them out in a harder class. If you ever get to travel somewhere with a larger studio.
Julie: What a fun and lively discussion about adult ballet and teachers and everything. Thanks so much for your time and perspective. What a fun conversation. Thanks for being here.
Alyssa: Yeah, thank you so much. And thank you for all that you're doing for the adult ballet community through Broche Ballet. I know I definitely enjoyed discovering all about it. And when you had your in-person studios, I actually have a friend who lives in Colorado, right by your studios. And so I was gonna make the trip out whenever I got to go visit her because I was like, ah, I want to go to a studio just for adults. That sounds like a blast.
Julie: Well, you still can there's a studio that took over part one of our spaces that's just for adults still, it's called Blissfully Yours Ballet. So you still can go to a go to a studio in Denver that's just for adults when you get there.
Alyssa: Oh, great.
Julie: Well, thanks a lot. I'll see. I'll see you around the internet. I'm really looking forward to keep continuing to follow your story. And yeah, well good luck with your new with your new journey in your new job. And I'm really excited to see how it all unfolds.
Alyssa: Thank you and I cannot wait to see the new outfits you come up with in the new year because I always love your fun outfits that you will post in and I'm like yes, I love it glitter.
Julie: Oh my gosh, I swear as a kid, this is what my entire childhood photo album looks like, is just these crazy outfits. But my mom, my parents, I mean, they just thought I was nuts. Right? Like just this kid is crazy. Wild, right? Real Life kind of knocks you down to size. But now I'm like, Look, look, life is short. And I want a green sparkly tutu. So I don't see why not.
Alyssa: Yeah, I'm like as an adult, I have adult money so I'm gonna buy all the leotards in the world because they make me happy.
Julie: That's exactly right. And I've got these massive pink earrings on because why not?
Alyssa: I got gingerbread because now holidays
Julie: Amazing. I love it. All the decorations all the fun. It's like half the fun.