Broche Banter #6 -- Mona
Today on Broche Banter, we have Mona, a 58-year-old soon-to-be empty nester and pediatric nurse practitioner in neurology whose search for a hobby led her to ballet.
We talk about structure and routine, the importance of dedication in ballet, and the ins and outs of dancing in your kitchen.
Enjoy!
Why did you start ballet as an adult?
Julie (studio owner): So, you started ballet as an adult.
Mona: Yes, an old adult.
J: Age is a mindset, Mona. I think you’re a young adult. You’re a very curious mind. So what’s that about? What sparked it?
M: What sparked it is, I didn’t do anything. I was being kind of a slug or a sloth, and I did nothing athletic. I had no hobby, and I thought I needed a hobby and something to do. My hair salon is right next to Broche Ballet, and so I knew about Broche Ballet just because I’d pass the sign. When I started looking at something to do, I originally wanted to do a tap class because I’ve always wanted to learn how to tap dance, so in the process of figuring what is available, I stumbled onto Broche Ballet again and I thought that it sounded interesting. I came into a 30-minute [preview] with you and I thought, “yeah, I could do this!” and that’s what did it. I can’t say that I wanted to be a ballerina my whole life, it was just something to do and get me dancing.
J: Yeah! Now, did you find us through Kristen’s tap class, Tappy Feet? Is that how you came across us in your tap research?
M: Well I knew you were there, but when I was looking at the tap dancing, one of the classes happened at Broche, so I thought, “oh let me look at the Broche stuff!” and, “oh, well I know where that place is because it’s right next to my hair salon!”
J: That’s funny. How long was it from the start to when you came to the preview class and decided to do something about it?
M: Not very long. I’m going to say maybe a week or so. I just told my husband that I was going to do this, I signed up for the preview class, and I just thought that I was going to do this. I didn’t think about it for months, it was definitely much shorter. I decided one day that I was going to do this.
J: That’s amazing! And you haven’t missed a class since then. You are one of our very few who has perfect attendance.
M: Well, I try.
J: You miss like, three classes in a year.
M: Yeah, well I panic if I have too many makeup credits!
J: You’ve got to get those classes in and keep getting better.
M: That’s right!
J: So it sounds like you haven’t had a hobby in a little while, so why did this one stick? Have you tried other hobbies in the past and they didn’t stick? Or you just hadn’t tried anything and it was time to try it? What happened in your life that actually made you get a habit or a hobby going?
M: I’m getting old, and I decided that in a couple years, my daughter is going to be out of the house and I felt like I really needed something to pass the time and engage with. The other thing I’m doing is, I started piano lessons at the same time. So I started ballet and piano at the exact same time. I found a piano teacher and I got a keyboard. Piano was something I’d always wanted to do. I think I needed something to occupy my time.
J: I didn’t realize you had a teenage daughter at home.
M: Yes, she’s 15 years old.
J: Oh, wow. That’s awesome! Yes, soon life will change, that’s true.
M: I should have a 30-year-old and I could be the mom to Jackie, but I have a 15-year-old.
J: Everyone does everything on their own time.
M: That is correct.
J: I will be in the same boat as you, I’m sure.
What keeps you coming back to ballet class every week?
J: So what keeps you coming back week after week, what’s the draw?
M: I love Kristen. I will tell you that she keeps me coming back for probably 90% of it. She’s fabulous, and I love Kristen. She’s been such a wonderful teacher, and I like talking to her and her personality. I like who she is, so she keeps me coming back. I also like the structure. Ballet is very structured and I like that. The fact that barre is so structured so I can watch the Royal Ballet online, they’re doing the same thing I’m doing. Definitely at a higher level, but it’s very structured. I definitely like the structure of ballet in that it’s progressive, but you’re always doing the same thing.
J: Right, and you do it for the rest of your ballet career, basically. Except more of it, and you work harder.
M: Yeah. I think it appeals to my OCD nature. It’s very routine and rigid, and very much a ritual and I like that. Whereas I wonder about other types of dance because when I’ve talked to Kristen a little bit about Tappy Feet-- which I’m going to check out one day-- I don’t think there’s as much structure to it. It seems a little bit more of a free form and I like the structure.
J: Yes. They call us bunheads, those of us who just like the rigid structure of the whole thing.
M: Yeah, so that definitely appeals to me.
J: I agree on the structure for sure. It’s nice, it makes the mind focus. Which is good, it can get carried away up there sometimes.
M: Yeah. Well I think it’s nice because you have to really focus on what you’re doing, and it’s a nice progression. It started with foundation and you’re building on that. I like that you’re not coming into the middle and trying to learn what you didn’t know. We’re starting from the basics and building on that, and I like that.
J: Yeah, it’s very nice. So, randomly the other day, unrelated to this conversation, Kristen messages me and she says, “Something changed with Mona. I was looking at Mona the other day and it’s like she’s a ballerina,” this was maybe 3 or 4 weeks ago before this whole home thing happened, and she said you were balancing up there with this long neck and a long posture. So what happened? Did you know that this happened, first of all? Second of all, what’s your secret?
M: I think some of it is just that I keep practicing in class, but I think about it a lot during the day. That’s one of your videos where you talked about doing ballet all the time in your mind, so when I walk into work I hold my shoulders back, or I pay attention to where my hands are. I do a lot of kitchen ballet. I mean I do that a lot! I balance in the kitchen and do ballet, so I think about it a lot and I think that that has helped a little bit. I did attend one of your morning warm up routines, but I’ve been doing this warm up routine for 20 minutes and I think maybe that’s helped a little bit. It’s given me a lot more arm and upper body strength.
J: That’s amazing. I do always say that technique is learned in the shower. Technique is not learned in class necessarily. We talk about it and we tell you what your goals are, but you need to figure out in your own mind how that works in your body. You need to change your mental image of yourself and how your body connects, and I think that’s the kind of thing that simmers under the surface.
M: Yes, in the mind and always being aware of body and space, where my shoulders are and lifting my head to look up as opposed to looking down. Those little things I try to bring to the ballet class now.
J: That’s awesome. Body awareness is actually a really hard thing to teach to people who started movement as adults, myself included. I still consider myself a very clumsy person. Being able to connect the mind to the body is actually quite a challenge and it sounds like something you’re really working on.
M: Yeah. I wouldn’t call myself a ballerina, but Kristen is so complimentary and I don’t think it’s amazing, but I think I’ve made a little progress.
J: Well as teachers, we get excited when we see a directional change. You’re going on a path, and then we see a path change. It’s one step in a new direction but we can see it clicking, so I think that’s why we get so excited. We can see a shift.
What challenges you the most?
J: So, what is the biggest challenge? Obviously, there are many challenges in ballet but for you, what’s the biggest piece that you’re chewing on and trying to figure out right now?
M: The turnout in center work. Like, when we do a tombé, pas de bourrée, and coming back to that turnout as opposed to being clunky and not coming back to the turnout. I think the center is where-- and I think anybody would say that-- I don’t feel as comfortable because of the balance, so feeling a little bit better in the center work.
J: Yeah, that’s a hard transition. It’s funny, in the beginning of my own ballet training, which was also as an adult in my early 20’s, I wondered if barre and center were at all related. I know teachers tell you how they’re related, and now as a teacher I’m like, “I’m telling you it’s related!” but as a student early on, I thought, “what were we just doing for the past hour? None of that is relevant to what we’re doing now,” do you feel that same way?
M: A little bit. I’m now getting it when you watch ballet or we’ll be doing développé at the barre and now we’re doing it in the center, so I can get some of that connection a little bit. I do think that it took some time.
J: It’s tricky because the footwork is nothing that you have to deal with at the barre. You don’t have to remember which foot you’re standing on because generally you have a thing that is in relation to your body. Whereas when you’re in the center, it’s like, “am I on my right foot or my left foot? I have no idea. How would I know?”
M: Yeah, I agree.
J: So the center is always challenging. Do you practice anything in the center at home or is it difficult to even remember what to practice?
M: Not as much because I need a better floor to do the center. I have a ballet barre and I have a foamy floor under my barre, but then the rest of our basement is concrete and the foamy thing is too slick to do center on. I toyed with getting the marley floor, so I talked to my husband if he’d be willing to let me buy that. I might do that because that would allow me to do more center. I have the space, I just don’t have the floor. The concrete makes it hard to move in ballet shoes and then I slide too much in socks, so I think I need that ballet floor.
J: Yeah, practicing at home is hard with the center work. Barre work is pretty easy to do anywhere you are, but the center work is really tricky.
M: Yeah, so I probably need to get one of those floors and that will make the center work a little bit easier.
J: So you take class once a week, right?
M: Yeah.
J: Every once in a while maybe a second class, but not too often.
M: Right, yeah.
J: But you practice at home a lot so I’m sure that makes a big difference for you.
M: Yeah, I try. I mean, it’s sometimes better than others. Now I’m trying to do more because it’s only online. I’d like to do class twice a week and I was toying with that before this whole COVID-19 thing and now it’s great, I can do it two or three times a week! Some of it has just been that so many of the classes that work for me time-wise fill up and then finding the class where I want to use a makeup credit but they’re already full, so figuring out my schedule and class times. Also, finding the instructors I want to be with.
J: Right. That always makes a big difference, finding the people that click with your style.
What are your goals?
J: So what are your goals? Is pointe work on your radar or is it totally out of the question? Are you interested in having a tutu one day? What’s your endgame here?
M: I wouldn’t mind considering pointe work. I don’t feel anywhere close to that yet but I think it’s such an “out there” goal, so possibly. Maybe in another year or so. I want to participate in the showcase, which I was bummed I couldn’t do this year but there was a conflict with my daughter's recital on the same day, because I really wanted to try that.
J: Well, maybe when we reschedule it!
M: Yes, when we reschedule maybe I’ll be able to do it. You know, just getting better and feeling like I’m making some progress.
J: Yeah. It sounds like you really like the journey of the whole process, but not so much in it for the end result.
M: No, I mean I like the journey and if I make it to 3c— whatever that means in another 4 years— that’s fine. I don’t feel like I’m in a rush because I don’t feel like I’ve mastered what I’m currently doing at 2c.
J: Right. And that’s such a thing with ballet is that you’re never done. No matter where you’re at, you’re never done. With the new stuff you learn, you’re never done with the previous stuff. You’re never done with your tendu. I still watch videos of people and I think, “that’s a tendu. I want that tendu,” but I have been doing tendus for 13 years right? So I still want a better tendu but I also want three or four pirouettes, those kinds of things. You’re just never done, which is super cool about the whole thing.
M: You know, learning to do a pirouette; that might be a good goal. I’m so far from that, I’m terrible at turns. They’re hard. I got the pique turn… kind of. So I was proud of that, but the other ones I can’t figure out yet.
J: I think one of the most maddening parts about pirouettes-- because we talked about the OCD nature of dancers, and specifically ballet dancers and how we like to be super detailed, rigid, and controlled-- is that in a pirouette you have to let go. You’ve been told for years to hold on tight, and now you’re being told to let go? What the heck? But once you’re tight, it doesn’t work. So you have to learn to let go within the structure that we’ve given you. How do you let some things go, but not all of it? That’s the fine grain control that we learn when it comes to pirouettes.
M: I agree, because when somebody is doing a step at the barre or in the center, I want to follow it exactly correct, and I think sometimes that’s not helping me because I’m so hung up on every little detail of it, and I think sometimes that being a little bit more loose would be helpful.
J: Right. It’s such a dichotomy, though because you can’t be too loose. You still have to hold your turnout, you still have to point your toes, and you still have to hold your port de bras but you have to be loose enough to move. So teaching your body that balance is hard. You want to move gracefully, but you want to be technically accurate at the same time.
M: Yeah, it’s hard and for people who are hung up on perfection, that makes it hard.
J: Yes, which is, in part, why we do this.
Do you share your ballet journey or is it more personal?
J: Do you show off the moves that you’re learning with your family or is it a very private thing for you?
M: It’s more private. I’ve shown them once or twice and they kind of looked at me strangely, so that was the end of it. When I do my kitchen ballet, my daughter will see me dancing around the kitchen though.
J: Does she dance?
M: No, not all. She plays violin. She was never into dancing.
J: So you guys can have a little musical concert!
M: Not yet. I’m hoping in another year, I’ll be good enough on the piano to play with her, but I’m not there yet.
J: Well maybe she can just do a violin piece that you can dance to.
M: That might be possible, actually!
J: And now you’re all home for weeks on end with nothing to do, so maybe you can choreograph a piece together.
M: Now, that would be good for the showcase!
J: Yep, there you go. A mother-daughter piece. That would be super fun.
M: That would be, actually.
J: I’ve been trying to get my mom to come out. She plays the flute and I’ve been trying to get her out for a show one day to accompany.
M: Oh, that would be great!
J: Yeah, it would be so fun to have adults accompanying adults. How fun would that be?
M: Well I thought that was the whole idea with Kristen teaching the piano, so that people could do that. I thought that was a great idea.
J: Yeah, it’ll be fun. We’ll just have a whole conservatory.
M: Yes, I like it!
Do you have any advice on starting ballet as an adult?
J: We have a lot of dancers surely reading or listening to this interview who are maybe in a similar boat as you, and want to get started but are super nervous about it. Do you have anything you would tell them about being nervous about it and how they might overcome that?
M: I think that with choosing an adult ballet studio that is only adults, and is so welcoming and encouraging, I don’t think they should be nervous. There are so many different sizes and looks of the women in the studio, as well as ages. I think everybody in the studio is very supportive so I don’t think people should be nervous about trying it. I think maybe I was a little bit nervous, especially when I had been in some of the classes where people seemed to know more than I did, but everybody is very supportive. Sometimes people will say that they can’t do something and I’ll say, “oh my gosh, that looked great!” so I think it’s a very supportive atmosphere. The fact that women are really every shape and size and level of experience, I think that’s fabulous. I think it really makes the studio so special as opposed to going to a studio that is a mix of adults and kids. I think Broche really has a great niche that way.
J: Yeah, it’s really fun to be a part of a community of people who are in the same boat and who have a very similar and intense, fine grained interest. We end up getting very similar people in the studio who have similar mindsets-- not even necessarily with views on the world-- but just interests. You like this kind of detailed focused work, so you get these detailed, passionate people in the studio who are all in this boat together, and we get it that ballet is hard so we don’t need to make it harder with any social pressure.
M: I think you’ve really found a nice group of instructors who are very encouraging, and they’re not like the ballet teacher who some talk about and how mean they were. Everybody is so supportive and helpful, and I think that makes it nice. I like all of the instructors because they’re good at teaching adults.
J: Yeah, it’s a whole different world here as adult dancers.
M: Oh yeah! I think you’ve really built something really nice. Just in the past year, seeing how much the studio has grown, how many more classes, and how many more instructors there are. I know you had it even before I started over a year ago, but it really seems to have taken off in the last year.
J: Yeah, it really has. It’s one of those things where you don’t know what you’re making until it’s made. You don’t know what it’s going to become and who’s going to be in the studio until you can kind of look back at it and see that this is something people are interested in. Clearly, a lot of people are interested in it and that’s awesome. I was too, and I’m glad that there are more people like me out there who want to learn and just get really into it.
M: Yeah. Your website is great, your offers are great, I was so bummed that you had started the Overture Program after I had started, but I think what you’ve done in the past year has been great.
J: Well thanks, I appreciate it! It’s been a really fun ride.
M: So now it can just get bigger and bigger!
J: That’s right. Now we’ve just got to open up again!
M: Are you getting a lot of interest for the online classes right now?
J: Yeah, it’s definitely picking up. I think for the most part, it’s going to start picking up a little bit more now. I think everyone just had a really tough couple of weeks. Life just got crazy and two weeks ago, everyone got the rug pulled out from under them. I think we’re starting to see a little bit more interest in the last couple of days. I think people just have been able to make it through their day and not think about too much more than that, so I’m glad to see people coming back around, coming out of a funk, and coming back to their routines. We live in, “if I’m going to be home for another six weeks, I better get moving,” because we’re going to be in a lot of pain if we’re sitting on the couch for six weeks straight.
M: Exactly. I saw all of the new offerings and I appreciate that because when you were asking for feedback on that survey. Now there’s a lot more availability and I can make more classes.
J: We’re trying to figure out what peoples’ lives look like. Who’s working, who’s not working, what times people are working. There’s no commute to worry about so we can have earlier classes. Everyone’s already wearing jammies all day so you don’t have to change for class because you’re already in your jammies, so it’s a much different process but it’s very fun.
M: Exactly.
Any last words on your ballet journey with Broche?
J: Do you have any last things you want to add about your ballet journey?
M: It’s been great. I’ll give another shoutout: Kristen has just been wonderful. She is the perfect fit for me as a teacher, so I really enjoy that. I’ve enjoyed all of the other teachers and I think I’ve been in classes with most everybody, but Kristen really is a good fit for me.
J: Yeah, she’s awesome. We’re so glad she’s on the team. She was one of the very first people I ever reached out to just because she owned a tap company. I reached out to her pretty much right when we had opened and I was trying to get some rental traffic in there to just start spreading the word, and then she came and started renting and taking class and then I brought her on as a teacher, so she’s one of the very first people I had contact with in the life of the whole studio. It’s awesome.
M: That’s great, I like that.
