Broche Banter #29 -- Jamie
Today, I chat with Jamie.
She’s legally blind and despite only being able to see light, dark, shapes and colors, Jamie started ballet 3 years ago after attending a magical sensory-friendly ballet performance. About 2 years before that, she had decided to grab the bull by the horns and embarked on a weight-loss journey, losing about 120 pounds.
From performing in her local community, to her dreams of pointe, ballet keeps her motivated, brings her joy, and is a wonderful spark in her life. You can follow Jamie’s story on Instagram @blossoming_ballerina.
Enjoy!
Before we get to the show, let’s take our Broche Bite!
On this segment, we’ll talk about bite-size ballet tidbits to give you something to chew on while you listen.
Today, let’s count some music! When we count music, we count a number every time we’d clap along with the beat. As dancers, we start over when we get to the number 8. So we count, 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8. Why do we count the music?
So that we can communicate about time. The same reason we like to be able to say “let’s meet at 1:00,” it’s helpful to be able to say “do this movement on count 6” because it helps us know when to be in a specific place or movement.
Typically, when the music begins in dance class, the very first note that plays is count 5. We count 5 6 7 8 and then usually the combination starts on count 1.
So let’s count a little bit of music together!
[For best results, give the audio a listen above]
Now, onto the show!
Julie: Jamie, welcome to the show. I'm so excited to get to chat with you today.
Jamie: Oh, me as well. Thank you so much for being so willing to have me on and to invite me in to share a little bit of my story with the crowd out there.
Julie: I believe Last time we talked was when my Instagram account had hit 5000 followers, and we did a giveaway and you and I had a little chat at that point. That was so much fun. That was, I don't know, a year ago or something maybe but that was so much fun. The last time we got a chance to chat so I knew it'd be awesome to be able to share your story to the ballet community.
Julie: Um, so when did you start ballet?
Jamie: It was December of, I think it was, yeah. 2016. I got invited to a sensory-friendly accessible showing of the Nutcracker that the ballet company in the next town over from us has. The town that I'm in is, just to kind of paint the picture and give you a location, I'm from upstate South Carolina and the area that I'm in is very rural. That's even hard to say you know, things are very far flung. And so there is there is dance presence in our county but not a lot of it is ballet or ballet-centered. So there is a bigger town about 25 miles from here that has a small company that does community events and things like that, as well as you know, their typical repertoire of shows for the year. But they always do the Nutcracker. As part of that they have what's called a sensory-friendly or an accessible showing where they only do the first half of the production. So it's not as long, you're only getting Act one and two, and they leave the lighting somewhat brighter, the music is not quite as loud, they do some other things to help facilitate those with a sensory disability to be able to just enjoy the performance more.
“[The local ballet community] always does the Nutcracker. As part of that, they have what’s called a sensory-friendly or an accessible showing where they only do the first half of the production, so it’s not as long. You’re only getting Acts one and two, and they leave the lighting somewhat brighter, the music is not quite as loud, they do some other things to help facilitate those with a sensory disability to be able to just enjoy the performance more. ”
And it just so happened that I got invited to come and be in the audience that year. And that was really the first taste of ballet I had had full on in person. I'd always seen ballet dancers on TV or things like that when I was younger, and I liked the idea, but I just never did think of myself is getting to be in that role or getting to participate in that, really. But when I got that first taste of the onstage real thing, it was just like, “Wow, this is so awesome.” And I just had that desire at that point I said “I've got to try this, even if I can't, you know, at this point, I definitely will not get to a professional level. But this is just too exciting not to want to try to participate in it somehow.”
“That was really the first taste of ballet I had had full-on in person. I’d always seen ballet dancers on TV when I was younger, and I liked the idea, but I just never did think of myself as getting to be in that role or getting to participate in that.
But when I got that first taste of the onstage real thing, it was just like, ‘Wow, this is so awesome.’ And I just had that desire at that point, I said ‘I’ve got to try this, even if I can’t, you know, at this point, I definitely will not get to a professional level. But this is just too exciting not to want to try to participate in it somehow.”
So I kind of started on my own in January of that following year, I think it was 2017. Doing some things with YouTube kind of picking up on some good channels that had some beginner tutorials. And I just kind of started doing little tendus and pliés in my bedroom, just holding on to a chair for a bar and just very simple, easy kind of things.
And while I was kind of doing that, I was kind of looking for some avenues to take some classes and the adult class they had happening at the company where… The company at that town several miles over also has a school… but the classes that they were offering in were really not at the beginner level, they had one for already established students, but that wasn't me. And there wasn't any available right then for beginners. So I kind of had to wait a little bit. But sure enough, I kept plugging away at home and doing what I could and getting advice from people that were in that role more could tell me what to work on and what to do until I could get to the point to where in August of that year, they finally .. they opened up a beginner adult class. And so that was my first formal bit of training starting then. And that class went for a few months. But then they couldn't support the enrollment they needed, so they ended up having to drop it. But the instructor that taught the class was willing to do private lessons with me every week. And so I continued to do that the risk the remainder of that year. And then in the summer, I think that was 2017, I was able to transition to take private lessons with an instructor from a local studio that's only a few miles from my house, which made it a lot a lot easier to get the lessons rather than us having to drive 26 miles away to get access to that. I have been still taking privates with her ever since. And so this all this mark officially me having been into ballet for three years.
Julie: Wow, that's so exciting. Three years is a long time.
Jamie: Yeah. It's funny, though, I think sometimes the time it seems to take for things… You start off something completely new, and it's a daunting task for a lot of people. And they think “Well gosh, well, it's gonna take me this X amount of months or years, or whatever it is to get proficient at this, and I'm starting so late.” But for me, it was like the time just flew. I would encourage people: “Don't worry, you know, if you're thinking about trying to get into ballet, don't worry about the time factor. It's going to happen. And trust me, it's going to go faster than you think it will.”
“You start off something completely new, and it’s a daunting task for a lot of people. And they think “Well gosh, well, it’s gonna take me this X amount of months or years, or whatever it is to get proficient at this, and I’m starting so late.” But for me, it was like the time just flew. I would encourage people: “Don’t worry, you know, if you’re thinking about trying to get into ballet, don’t worry about the time factor. It’s going to happen. And trust me, it’s going to go faster than you think it will.”
Julie: That's true about life too. Right? You think wow, life is long, and then all of a sudden the days keep on rolling.
On Being Legally Blind
Julie: Let's just back up for a sec. Why is it important that you have a sensory friendly performance for you to go see ballet? What makes that what about you makes that something that is important to you?
Jamie: And it's so funny, that didn't even mention it. And it probably is going to have a significant role in the story here, but I'm actually legally blind. And a lot of people unless they happen to see me with my cane or I happen to be reading something in Braille wouldn't even realize. So that's that was kind of my segue into getting invited to that sensory-friendly performance because of course, they did some things they had the “touch tour,” and we got to touch things, the props, costumes, some of the things that they use during the show, which of course really gave, especially for someone that doesn't see very much from the audience perspective, when you got to see and feel it hands-on definitely, definitely made a difference in my enjoyment of the show, being able to feel in touch the things that are involved, and to get that full sense of what was happening on stage that was really awesome.
And it's funny, a lot of people think of the blindness as being a major deal, but it just goes to show you, when it comes right down to it, it's really not. A lot of people will still think of blindness as being something that's a bit of a disadvantage, or a challenge. But to me, it's just like a normal characteristic of who I am, it's like having blond hair and blue eyes. I've gotten to the point to where it's not something that enters my mind every day, “Oh, I do things this way because I'm blind.” It's just I go about my everyday life, and then really play into it. So I didn't think to mention that while ago. So thank you for bringing that up.
“And it’s funny, a lot of people think of the blindness as being a major deal, but it just goes to show you, when it comes right down to it, it’s really not. A lot of people will still think of blindness as being something that’s a bit of a disadvantage, or a challenge. But to me, it’s just like a normal characteristic of who I am, it’s like having blond hair and blue eyes. I’ve gotten to the point to where it’s not something that enters my mind every day, “Oh, I do things this way because I’m blind.” It’s just I go about my everyday life, and then really play into it. So I didn’t think to mention that while ago.”
Julie: Yeah, it's an important factor! Have you been blind your whole life, or did that happen later in life?
Jamie: I was actually born that way. The syndrome, the particular condition that I had, which also has caused some other health-related things to pop up as well, was present while I was still being formed and before birth, so it's something that I've never known it any any other differently. It's something that I've lived with and had my whole life to adjust to, which in ways is an advantage, versus somebody who is blinded later and has to suddenly make this change. They live part or most of their life as a fully sighted person, and then have to suddenly make that transition. So it was a blessing that I did get to grow into it.
Julie: I'm sure it's a lot less scary to figure that outw hen you're a kid than when you're an adult, that would be very intimidating to figure out having to navigate the world as a person who's very far away from the ground.
Jamie: Yes. For sure.
Julie: So I mean, from my perspective, obviously, relying on my eyes for so much, the statement that blindness isn't that big of a deal, it's a little bit confusing, or maybe hard to grasp. And maybe it is for some of our listeners as well, because I mean, balancing, even if I just try to close my eyes is so incredibly hard. So to think about doing all of this stuff, without really being able to see that much. I guess if you just go around the world, always not having your eyes to help you balance, maybe you just have a better intrinsic sense of your balance? Do you find balancing challenging and ballet or is that actually just normal for you?
Jamie: It can be a challenge. In my particular situation, I have a visual condition called nystagmus where your eyes move, and just depending on.. sometimes in the video, you may even see them wiggle a little bit at times, because even when they’re as still as they can be, there's always that slight bit of a little bit of movement that's happening with them. And so balancing, staying still, that I don't find that as much of a challenge and especially not with a barre work because you've always got the bar right there, you can grab it, and that kind of gives you a good foundation to work from. But I do think maybe turned on and doing things wrong moving across the floor more, I think sometimes that does present a bit of a challenge because that nystagmus does make it…. I think I have to spot a little more and a little differently maybe than other people have to so that does maybe throw a little bit of a challenge into it, but I just look at it as another something to overcome. Whereas someone else's limitation may be maybe they need to build up…. of course, I still think I need these areas too… but maybe they're worried about their arches or their muscle strength or the degree of flexibility they have, but I just look at that aspect of it is just another challenge to be overcome and worked through.
“I just look at [blindness] as another something to overcome. Whereas someone else’s limitation may be they need to build up…. of course, I still think I need these areas too… but maybe they’re worried about their arches or their muscle strength or the degree of flexibility they have, but I just look at that aspect of it is just another challenge to be overcome and worked through.”
Julie: That's amazing. Is your is your world black or do you see moving shapes or what do you see?
Jamie: Yeah, it's interesting that you asked that because blindness is very much a spectrum and I think we're we were used to dealing with … as autism has come with the forefront they talk about the autism spectrum… and a lot of people don't realize that blindness very much lends itself to that as well because you do have degrees of blindness. You have those who are still legally meet the definition but can still see shapes, colors, large print to certain extent, all the way to you know what we call with someone functionally or totally blind.
I'm kind of in that middle range. I do have some functional eyesight. I do see, light, dark, shapes, colors. If something's moving, I'll pick up on it right away. Things that are brighter colors tend to catch my attention more visually. I do also tend to be very near sighted, so getting closer to things also helps. And sometimes it's just a matter of when you can control that proximity, usually if I can get close enough, I can figure out what it is. Not always possible, so then there again, you have to learn some non-visual workarounds for when you can't get that close to something or you’re in that challenging role.
Light also is a big factor to me as well, because the presence of.. “Is it is it too much light or too little?” I also tend tend to have a little bit of light sensitivity, so that makes it that can make it a little bit of a challenge, especially in areas where the lighting is brighter, and you have to try to… sometimes you've got control over that, and sometimes you don't, obviously. So that's something that you kind of have to work through as well. But there definitely is that spectrum that the fact that blindness does come in varying degrees, and not everybody that's blind by the legal definition is completely has no visual reference whatsoever.
My thing is that it's a bit of a challenge knowing when being able to use what vision I have helps and when to turn it off and go for a non-visual technique that's going to get it done faster. I can read print still, if it's big. However, my eyes fatigue, especially is the age factor kicks in, they fatigue a lot faster than they used to. So I use a combination of large print, Braille, and audio for my reading. And it really depends on how long I'm going to be reading and what I'm going to be reading for the determines which media I use. I do travel with a white cane and I pretty much don't leave the house without it. Even if I'm in a situation where I'm in a familiar place where I'm around people that know me well, I still have it with me because you never know when that emergency situation is going to come up and you're going to need to be able to fully assist yourself with getting out of an area if you have to.
I tend to have a heightened general sense of awareness of what's around me, which in ballet that can be very useful. If you're picking up on little nuances and things about your movement, or the quality of it, or the direction you're going that maybe someone else wouldn't pick up. There again, I tend to look at that as more of an advantage than a disadvantage.
“I tend to have a heightened general sense of awareness of what’s around me, which in ballet that can be very useful. If you’re picking up on little nuances and things about your movement, or the quality of it, or the direction you’re going that maybe someone else wouldn’t pick up. There again, I tend to look at that as more of an advantage than a disadvantage.”
Julie: Definitely, I mean, ballet, as you mentioned, is all about awareness. Right? It's all about awareness of your body awareness of space, awareness of details, and there's so much in it. When you're in class and the teachers demonstrating? How do you follow along? Do they describe it for you? Can you see a little bit of how they're moving their legs and their arms? Or how does that work?
Jamie: I do use what visual reference I can. On some days, it's more helpful or less helpful than others, it just depends on how fatigued I am and how tired my eyes are. If I'm having a really good day, then I can pick up on a lot visually, if it's not so great, then maybe not as much. But my teacher does do a really great job of being very verbally descriptive with me, and she's very detailed and we'll use pretty detailed language as far as the parts of the body and which muscles are doing what. She's very verbally descriptive as far as telling me what needs to happen, where and she's also really good about correlating the technique or the step or learning to something in the environment that I'm already aware of. I know when we were dealing with some of the movements, pas de chevals and things like that, she would describe if you think of the way the horse’s hoof moves for the pas de cheval, and there was something else that we compared to one of the sticky hands that came out of gum ball machines at one point that would whip itself out and come straight back. So I think I think maybe we use that for the dégagés. So she's really good at finding an object or something that I am familiar with, to give me a sense or an idea of how that body part should move or where it should be going. And so her doing that has just very much helped my progress tremendously.
And while I wish there were more classes in my area to participate in, I feel like I do get more out of the private lessons because there is that one-on-one aspect and my instructor’s not having to try to be concerned with how to explain things for me in a class with 8 or 10 other sighted people that may not need that. So I think that even if I were to work into a position to take more classes, I would still keep the privates going because of the instructor being able to just have that one-on-one time with me, because some things do take a little bit longer to get explained or for me to fully grasp how that muscle movement should be. Sometimes it does take that little extra time in the working that out.
And one of the things I told myself in the beginning was this, “Okay, we're not going to treat this like a race. What matters is that you're making improvement, it doesn't matter the pacing.” I'm an adult at this point, there wasn't a reason to rush right into it, and really push myself to feel like, “Okay, I've got to meet this deadline with meeting this goal.” I mean, obviously, I do have goals set for myself, and I have a good general awareness and where I'm heading and what I want to be doing next. But yeah, I think it's good that I've given myself some permission to have some flexibility with that, because some things are going to work a little bit differently for me.
“And one of the things I told myself in the beginning was this, “Okay, we’re not going to treat this like a race. What matters is that you’re making improvement, it doesn’t matter the pacing.” I’m an adult at this point, there wasn’t a reason to rush right into it, and really push myself to feel like, “Okay, I’ve got to meet this deadline with meeting this goal.” I mean, obviously, I do have goals set for myself, and I have a good general awareness and where I’m heading and what I want to be doing next. But I think it’s good that I’ve given myself some permission to have some flexibility with that because some things are going to work a little bit differently for me.”
Julie: Yeah, it's a I think it's an important lesson for anyone, even any sighted person to to have patience with themselves and flexibility in that process. Because you never know what sort of setback is going to come along or what sort of challenges you're going to face. You can't anticipate ahead of time if you haven't seen it before. Like you said, as long as you're on the journey, it doesn't matter how quickly you get to the end of it.
Jamie: Yes, exactly.
Julie: We have lots of time.
Your Goals
Julie: So what is your next goal? What is what are you excited about next?
Jamie: We have been working this fall on revamping the barre work that I have been doing. So I had been kind of working with and sitting on the combos and the steps that we worked on during the barre portion of our lessons for a good few months or a year. And so we were looking at my technique and how I'd grown, and we finally decided that it was time for things to get a retouch and to get a little bit more advanced and push for some more improvement and some more growth. So we are working our way through that, and we've added a new barre exercise each lesson that I've gone to for the last three or four lessons, and the only one we've got left to switch over now are the battements and then my barre work will be completely revamped and a little more advanced than it was before, so I'm really excited about that.
And I'm also just beginning to really feel comfortable in myself, there again, doing more of the center work and doing more of the turns and moving across the floor and smaller jumps and things of that nature. So we're beginning to work on that as well. And I'm really excited about that. And I think one of the future goals I still have for myself at this point would be to look at developing enough strength to be able to do some point work, at least at the barre. It would be awesome to think that possibly I could do some very simple things in center. But at this point, I'm kind of happy to think that maybe at some juncture in time, when I'm ready, that it would be I think a good thing to still work with.
And I think if you are a ballet dancer and you're not working to be on pointe I don't think there's anything wrong with that. But most people, you've got it in the back of your mind, because when you think a ballerina, that is what you envision is being able to make that transition to be able to work in pointe shoes and dance those and so that's still very much a thing in the back of my mind. And there again, I'm not so hung up on when it happens or that it has to happen immediately. But that is a goal that I have for myself, and that I would…. If I don't reach it, that's okay, I'll get as far as I can and flat and be fine with that. But if it's something that I possibly can do, then yeah, I'm gonna still work for it.
Julie: That is so exciting. That is, I think the most exciting day. As you said, it's totally fine if people don't have pointe as a goal, but for those that do, the day you get there is just the most magical, just the most magical feeling ever. So I hope you get there and keep working towards it because it is really really special.
Jamie: Every little girl, or at least most of us that have kind of had a little bit of a bent toward ballet. I can remember growing up I had this doll that was a ballerina. And it was one of the few things that I could actually say was kind of a ballet memory for me, but I was maybe three or four at the time, and she had a little crown on the top of her head that you held. And then she spun. And of course, she was en pointe, so that kind of sets the stage for it, you know?
Julie: The crown really tops it off. That's that's like icing on the cake.
Jamie’s Weight Loss Journey
Julie: So talk to me a little bit about your weight loss journey. I know you mentioned that was important to you. So talk to me a little about how that plays into where you are with ballet and all of that.
Jamie: Yes, and it turns out with me, um, and people who haven't known me before, may not realize, but obesity has kind of had a prevalence in our family. Part of it is the geographical area we live in and the kind of foods that are very typically eaten in this part of the country. And part of it is a lifestyle choice thing and that sort of thing. I don't think you could ever completely really put that on one factor or another. It's a it's a blend, and it's a combination of things. But I always was heavier, even into childhood and in early adulthood. And I finally got to the point to where I … there again, I had some other goals at that point, ballet was not really in the picture yet. But I had some other physical goals that I wanted to meet. And I realized just how unhealthy my body was, and how unhappy I was. It wasn't to the level that I could do certain things.
At my heaviest point, I was probably around 290, sometimes pushing right at almost 300 pounds, which is not good, especially for my height. I tend to be a little bit shorter of stature, and so carrying that much weight from my body was not… And there again, it was compounding some of the health needs that I had, because of the condition that caused the blindness, and it was complicating matters for that too. And I finally just came to the realization that I've got to grab this bull by the horns and change this, nobody's going to do it for me. I was tired of seeing things that I wanted to participate in and wanted to try and couldn't, because I was physically unable due to the weight.
“I finally just came to the realization that I’ve got to grab this bull by the horns and change this, nobody’s going to do it for me. I was tired of seeing things that I wanted to participate in and wanted to try and couldn’t, because I was physically unable due to the weight. ”
And so I had a really good friend who got me going down the right path of eating well, and taking care of my body: exercising, doing what I needed to do there. Once I made that decision to make that a focus, and then I just went with it. And so over the course of about two, two and a half years, I went down from 280 pounds to now I usually stay around 160 pounds. I'd like to come down a little further. But there are again, I'm fine with where I am until I can, you know finish working my way through that process. As I was on the tail end of the weight loss journey that I had the ballet experience. So my body was already in a little better position to be able to do some more of that for myself.
And I think actually, the ballet has kind of been a catalyst in the continuation of me wanting to stay on this wellness journey and keep it going and keep it consistent and not lag behind. I was exercising before because I knew it was good for me, but now I'm exercising because I want it to help me be a better dancer too.
“And I think actually the ballet has kind of been a catalyst in the continuation of me wanting to stay on this wellness journey and keep it going and keep it consistent and not lag behind. I was exercising before because I knew it was good for me, but now I’m exercising because I want it to help me be a better dancer too. ”
It gives me a dual focus for that and for how that's going. But, and I know people that are already in the ballet circle know how big of a thing it was for ballet that your body type … at one point, historically, if it was a certain way, or it wasn't or there was a big concern if a dancer gained a little bit of weight or started to get too heavy. But for me it was almost the other way around the ballet was… and because I did find a lot of encouragement and a lot of help from people in the ballet community that were already being body positive. For me, it ended up working in the opposite way as it does in most cases because there was this heightened awareness of how much more about my body could do than I had ever realized before. And that it doesn't matter if it's not to the typical specs of what might be most advantageous. You can still take what you've got and make it work. There again, with the flexibility aspect of it too. I was so inflexible when I started but about ballet has definitely made getting more flexible easier. It's given me a purpose to work on it more and because of that it's been easier to push through it when maybe you have times when you don't see as much progress as others, or you start something new and things are a little hard at first, but you’re like “this is going to help my dancing, this is going to make you better.” And it gives you that motivation to work through it. So for me, it was kind of working the opposite way as it does with some where they get really concerned about their body and what it is, or it isn't. For me it's helped giving me a focus for the things about my body that I could control, and not to worry so much about what I couldn't. So for me, it's been a blessing.
“I did find a lot of encouragement and a lot of help from people in the ballet community that were already being body positive.
For me, it ended up working in the opposite way as it does in most cases because there was this heightened awareness of how much more about my body could do than I had ever realized before.
And that it doesn’t matter if it’s not to the typical specs of what might be most advantageous. You can still take what you’ve got and make it work.
I was so inflexible when I started, but ballet has definitely made getting more flexible easier. It’s given me a purpose to work on it more and because of that it’s been easier to push through it when maybe you have times when you don’t see as much progress as others, or you start something new and things are a little hard at first, but you’re like “this is going to help my dancing, this is going to make you better.” And it gives you that motivation to work through it.
So for me, it was kind of working the opposite way as it does with some, where they get really concerned about their body and what it is, or it isn’t.
For me it’s helped giving me a focus for the things about my body that I could control, and not to worry so much about what I couldn’t. So for me, it’s been a blessing.”
Julie: That is a very powerful journey. Regardless of what you're doing, anytime you make a really big change in your body and your life, it is a sort of a huge deal. As far as your mindset, as far as taking control of it, taking the reins and deciding that you're going to do it for yourself and for the things that you want. What was that two, two and a half years like? That is a really long journey. Did you get discouraged along the way, or were you just at that point, so as you said, just ready to make a change that took you through?
Jamie: I think at my point, I was so motivated to get it changed, because I was just like, “This is just not acceptable anymore.” And I could, at that point, started to tell the health of my family members that had been overweight over a longer period of time, I could see how it was affecting them. And I could see myself spiraling down that same path, and it's like, “I've got to do something to stop this before it really….” It's like a ball, if you think about a snowball that starts little and it gains speed as it goes downhill. And I could just see myself there, again, heading into that same direction, and I was like, “But wait a minute, I can stop this, there are things that I can do to mitigate this now and not be in that same place that that they were having to be when I'm, you know, 10 or 15 years down the road.”
And I think that was a large deal of it too. And I also think seeing the progress starting to happen. It was really slow and gradual at first but just that first couple of pounds off was like, “Okay, yay, I'm breaking through this, I'm starting on this.” You have to think, you can't swallow the elephant at one time. I took it in baby step. We're just gonna start thinking the first pound or two or three and then the next thing you know, it's five or six and then you're a month down the line. So the fact that the progress was pretty steady for me and that I was motivated well enough to that I really didn't relapse once I started. And there are times when we planned for me to have a deviation and eat something that was a bit out of the system for me for here and there. There again, that's something that you deal with, you don't look at certain things as being off the table. I'll do this every once in a while, I'll do a smaller portion of this, I won't do it as much. But once you start to see those first few increments of progress happening and I think that just that really motivated me to just keep on going keep on pushing through and working with it and the more I got to where my body was able to do more things more and I started seeing the improvement the benefit there it just really took off.
“You can’t swallow the elephant at one time. I took it in baby step. We’re just gonna start thinking the first pound or two or three and then the next thing you know, it’s five or six and then you’re a month down the line.”
Developing Patience & Perserverance
Julie: That's amazing. Were you always so patient before this journey or did you get some of this patience throughout this process? You sound very patient to me with your mindset of not swallowing the elephant all at once, with taking it day by day. You also mentioned the beginning that people get overwhelmed with how long ballet will take, but just to keep going day by day. Did you kind of already have that? Or is this how you got it?
Jamie: I think to a certain extent, personality-wise I think I do have a little bit more of a bent to it. And I think partly that was through learning to do things through childhood and whatnot. Sometimes it does take me a few more tries to do something just because of the visual impairment. So some of that was kind of a instilled thing. And I think some of it is kind of just me, I tend to be a very persistent person in my personality. I think part of me is wired that way. But I also think part of it was learned, because there were times when I thought “I just really don't feel like exercising this hard today, but I know it's gonna be good for me.” I think there again, anytime you get discouraged just thinking of that little bit of progress you've made and just knowing that you're continuing to improve. Even if the improvements are small, that doesn't matter. You just look at the fact that you're making gains you're making progress. And then that helps. That at least that has really helped and in kept me motivated. There was a picture I had near my treadmill that with a quote that says, “It doesn't matter how slow you go, you're still lapping everybody sitting on the couch.”
“there were times when I thought ‘I just really don’t feel like exercising this hard today, but I know it’s gonna be good for me.’ I think there again, anytime you get discouraged just thinking of that little bit of progress you’ve made and just knowing that you’re continuing to improve. Even if the improvements are small, that doesn’t matter. You just look at the fact that you’re making gains you’re making progress. And then that helps. That at least that has really helped and in kept me motivated. There was a picture I had near my treadmill that with a quote that says, ‘It doesn’t matter how slow you go, you’re still lapping everybody sitting on the couch.”
Julie: Love that.
Jamie: I still think about that.
Julie: Oh, man, that's an awesome quote. I've not heard that one. But that is really… Yeah, that's awesome. It is so true. It's a little bit even a little bit is always so much better than nothing.
Jamie: Oh, exactly, exactly. So that that little bit of progress and motivation just always kind of pushed me further. “Okay, let's keep going on this. And it is hard today. It's okay. You can live in that moment for a moment. But then, yeah, come on, let's go, you can do this.”
Julie: I'm really happy to hear that ballet was a very positive factor for you in this because as you mentioned, it can be having the opposite impact on people. But the changing body positivity, especially in the adult ballet community that's hopefully starting to propagate into the rest of the ballet world, hopefully will continue to to grow and with our messages and our way of being, with just showing that it is ballet, no matter what you look like, if you're enjoying it, if you're loving it, if you're if it's helping you become a better person and live your dreams, then it doesn't matter what you it doesn't matter what you look like on the outside.
Jamie: Oh, exactly. Right. And you know, some people get hung up on “Well, you can't do that professionally.” But there's still a lot of good to be had from doing something just for the pure enjoyment of it. I still kind of think of myself as a serious dancer, even though No, it's not going to be my job, it's not going to be something that I'm going to get paid to do. But because it's important to me, and because it gives me joy in my heart to be able to participate in it.
“Some people get hung up on “Well, you can’t do that professionally.” But there’s still a lot of good to be had from doing something just for the pure enjoyment of it. I still kind of think of myself as a serious dancer, even though No, it’s not going to be my job, it’s not going to be something that I’m going to get paid to do. But because it’s important to me, and because it gives me joy in my heart to be able to participate in it.”
And to also just see what it does for other people as well who maybe are not as aware and those who just haven't had the chance to be exposed to it. I've seen that especially through those sensory-friendly Nutcracker showings and the outreach that the ballet company there has had in the community with both the at-risk children and students that maybe aren't getting the exposure to things like that, but also for the disabled individuals in the community as well. And they do reach out very heavily to both of those populations. And just to see how those people benefit from being involved in ballet. They've even had a class specifically for Parkinson's patients. And to see what a wonderful benefit that is for them, and especially given that diagnosis, how important it is for them to keep moving, because the more they move, the longer they're going to keep the physical ability that they do have.
So just kind of seeing how that is branched out. And even how my own ballet experience.. I've had the opportunity to perform for groups of both disabled and non-disabled individuals a couple of different times, and many of them probably had not ever been ... because of our geographical area and other things … just probably had not ever seen a person dance ballet live or in-person too, for me to be able to bring that experience to them and seeing how it's kind of enrich them and expanded their perspective has also helped.
Julie: That's amazing. It's very funny about ballet that we have this idea in, and maybe it's in other specific sports too. But we don't question if someone's a serious runner, if they run marathons. Even if they're amateur and they're running marathons, we don't ever ask them if they're a serious runner, like we kind of get it that they're a serious runner, right? They spend all their free time running, they're really passionate about it. They have all the gear, but for whatever reason, when you're a dancer, it's like, “Oh, you're just like, totally run into to to how serious could you be?” But really, I think it's the same. I think there's really it's very, very normal for people of any age to want to be very serious about something that is just, as you say, for the pure enjoyment of it.
Jamie: Oh, exactly. And there's so much to be gained and so much to be gotten and to grow into that role and take it as your own and just to see how far you can really go with it. If all I ever get to do is performing there for little small, local groups, hey, that's cool. I'll take that and I'll run with it.
“And there’s so much to be gained and so much to be gotten and to grow into that role and take it as your own and just to see how far you can really go with it.”
On Performing Opportunities
Julie: And even that, I'm just is very magical.
Jamie: Oh, it is, the few times I've gotten to perform have just been really wonderful. And I really did come away with it feeling like I had broadened the horizons and the perspectives of the people that got to witness it and to be able to bring the magic that ballet brought to me and do that for another person. That's just really cool.
“Oh, it is, the few times I’ve gotten to perform have just been really wonderful. And I really did come away with it feeling like I had broadened the horizons and the perspectives of the people that got to witness it and to be able to bring the magic that ballet brought to me and do that for another person. That’s just really cool.”
Julie: So, so nice.
Don’t let anything stop you!
Julie: Jamie, I could talk to you for the entire day. You are so awesome and inspiring and passionate. I could literally sit here and listen to you talk about your about your mindset for the whole day. But let's wrap up with just one last question, which is, if there was anyone out listening to this podcast today, whether they're sighted or not, what last words do you have for them to think about? Why is ballet worth it? What does it mean to you? What last words, do you have that you want to tell our listeners?
Jamie: Oh, man, tough one. Um, just biggest thing is just don't let anything stop you. Don't let any preconceived notion or, “Oh, I've waited too late.” “I don't have the right this or the right that.” Don't let arbitrary things be excuses for you not to try because it was like, for me, I just took the time to try and it just took off. And you know, the next thing I know, I'm already doing way more than I ever thought it would.
“Don’t let anything stop you. Don’t let any preconceived notion or, “Oh, I’ve waited too late.” “I don’t have the right this or the right that.” Don’t let arbitrary things be excuses for you not to try because it was like, for me, I just took the time to try and it just took off. And you know, the next thing I know, I’m already doing way more than I ever thought it would.”
So my biggest piece of advice is just don't let anything stop you. If you.. and even if it's something other than ballet, if there's something that you really would like to try for yourself or see happen for yourself or do for yourself, just don't think about the what ifs think about the what coulds. You never know even if you don't land on the moon, you still probably going to make it to be with the stars.
Julie: Yeah, it's I think that's really powerful. Don't think about the what ifs but think about the what coulds right? What could happen if I did this, it could be great. It could be magical. It could be amazing. And if not, you could stop and you could end it right? You don't have to keep doing it. But it could be so it could be more amazing beyond what you could have ever imagined.
Jamie: It could end up being something that could be one of the greatest experiences you could have in your life, and if you did not have tried, you would have missed out completely.
“It could end up being something that could be one of the greatest experiences you could have in your life, and if you did not have tried, you would have missed out completely.”
Julie: Yeah. Wow. So powerful. Well, thank you, Jamie, so much for sharing your story with me and with our listeners today, this has been just an absolute pleasure for me to chat with you and to hear your incredibly positive and motivating mindset about the world. So thank you for your time today.
Jamie: Oh, thank you so much for having me, I really appreciate it. And I have really enjoyed listening to your podcast. And I really do consider it a great honor to get to participate in this and be one of the people that you've asked to be on it with us. I really have enjoyed it. And I've really enjoyed what you're doing for the adult ballet community in general, but especially the podcasts. I’ve really enjoyed listening and have gotten something very significant out of all of them. And so to follow in the footsteps of those that have already been in this role, and now me getting to do it. It's definitely something that I've taken seriously. And I really appreciate the opportunity.
Julie: Wonderful. Well, I think your story is really inspiring. And I mean, just as you said, “Everyone has such an inspiring story.” And I have yet to meet someone who is not inspiring in some way. Anyone in the world who is taking a chance on themselves, anyone in the world who is doing something unusual or different, or that takes the courage to actually go there and get started … anyone in that position I have so much respect for and love to hear how they got there because it's unusual. And like you said many are sitting on the couch and those people who took a risk and took the leap, it takes a lot of courage. And I always love hearing everyone's stories as well.
Jamie: Yes, meet me as well. You know, they're all there's always room for more. There's always, always that extra little spark there something that you did was not in your reality before that. Hearing others’ perspectives, I think encourages your own journey as well, I think.
Julie: Yeah, it's encouraged mine, that's for sure. And you know, it started the podcast started obviously during this COVID period of time. For me, being able to have a chance to have conversations with so many different people through this very dark period of time has been very helpful to be able to get different perspectives and see different parts of the world, and just hear from other people through this very challenging time so I've it's been a lifeline for me as well.
Jamie: Yes, I was gonna say dance overall has very much been a point of stability for me through through this whole situation as well.
Julie: Yes, that's something to be consistent with and have as a rock. Well so much fun Jamie This has been so much fun. I'm super jazzed I can't wait to go dance and you've inspired me so much.
Jamie: Thank you. I appreciate that.
